He's up to something...

Have you heard that song by Sanctus Real--Whatever You're Doing...it's pretty much my "anthem" right now...especially this part of the song...it has me on my knees

Whatever You’re doing inside of me It feels like chaos, but I believe …
You’re up to something bigger than me Larger than life, something heavenly
Whatever You’re doing inside of me It feels like chaos, but now I can see
This is something bigger than me Larger than life Something heavenly

If you see me right now and we talk about what's going on...I'll tell you how excited I am...how I can't wait to see what God is going to do...how I know it's all going to fall into place.

And all of these things are true, I believe this...most of the time I believe it with all my heart...I do...but then if I'm going to be transparent I'm going to tell you the doubts start creeping in and I'm scared to death...scared that maybe I can't measure up to this task...wonder HOW IN THE WORLD this is going to work out...If I'm going to be honest with you I will tell you I'm scared that I will get excited for the possibility of adding another child to our family...of turning our little foursome into a party of 5 (the new Jackson 5--haha...sorry had to say it...note to all those wondering we will not be naming any child Michael)...and then for God to say No...it's not for you.

James and I feel very strongly about adoption (we support it in case you're wondering which way we go with that) :) In fact, it's our belief that as Christians we are called to care for the orphans...now this doesn't always mean that we're all called TO adopt, but we are all called to care (I stole that line from our pastor) and we're all called to DO SOMETHING. So, we're really in limbo...my heart aches at the thought of these children without families....seriously, sounds corny-right? But there are tears in my eyes right now as I type this (and of course wearing mascara...good job, Monica). There are so many options...domestic vs international...and if you choose international...then to choose a country. How do you even begin to narrow it down? And what if...just bare with me for a minute...what if God is saying, I love you're passion...but you're only meant to raise the money for other families...your job is to support families I've ordained to take up this task. Honestly, I don't have the answers, but we figure we're going to take the step of faith...James and I are choosing to start somewhere and then let God handle the rest.

We took our first "public"...well semi-public...step yesterday. LifeWay hosted a Craft Sale...I put up a booth with 30 necklaces (which are really cute I might add--but I'm a bit biased)...and honestly, I was hoping for a good turn out, but I didn't put too much stock in it especially since the previous sale I sold about 5 items...but see I believe (beyond a shadow of a doubt and I'm serious...I BELIEVE THIS) that God did His thing yesterday because every single one of those necklaces sold...every one of them plus I took extra orders. So, we've started the adoption fund...and that's what we're working towards right now. We want to adopt...oh, I can't tell you how much we'd love that...but we're going to be faithful with what God has told us to do right now and that's put money towards an adoption fund...whether it be for ourselves (crossing my fingers--okay not really--we're not superstitious) or whether it be for another family...we're going to be faithful with what He's guided at this point.

I'm going to be a little selfish and ask for you to pray for direction for us. For opened and closed doors....for us to know with certainty what God's plan is for us...not so much our plan for us (it's easy to confuse the two..ya know?) And in advance, thanks for walking this road with us...