Tyler Anthony Jackson

Today, it is Tuesday-October 26th. I just got back from the NICU where I got to do something I never thought I'd be excited about...changing a diaper. When the closest you can come to "holding" your baby is changing a diaper it's amazing how the perspective changes. So, yes I was excited to change his diaper. Give me a few months and I'm sure that sentiment will change.

Let me go back to the beginning...okay, not the very beginning-but when Tyler decided it was time to make his appearance to the world.

Last Friday (the 22nd) I had some contractions that started to show some consistency. Since all of the other contractions I'd had were sporadic we figured this was the start of something...then those contractions spaced out and went away. False alarm.
On Saturday, James and the kids came to hang out for most of the afternoon. I was having contractions off and on...but seriously, I'm stupid when it comes to contractions--really, I am--so I didn't pay much attention to the frequency of them. They weren't too painful so I figured they were just Braxton Hicks again. James and the kids left the hospital to pick my Dad up from the airport--he was flying in to go to the Titans game with Hayden and James on Sunday...this trip had been planned MONTHS ago. So, when they all left I started noticing the contractions to have just a little kick to them. Figured it was worth it to be put on the monitor and checked out. So, they did...and the contractions didn't show much different from the day before so we just figured they were another false alarm. Haha...did I mention I'm stupid when it comes to contractions? At 7:00pm, James was leaving the house to head to the airport and I called to tell him that they'd put me back on the monitors...that I was sure it was nothing at all but just wanted him to know. After about 3o minutes, I was starting to count to get my mind off the pain...then I was doing those breathing exercises that I'd forgotten about until all the sudden I needed them. I called James and told him he needed to get here ASAP because in fact I was in labor.

He got to the hospital within about 15 minutes of me being wheeled to the OR for a c-section. It worked out perfectly for my Dad to be here...he dropped James off and took the kids home.

Tyler was born at 9:38pm on Saturday, October 23rd. He weighed in at 4 pounds 3 ounces--18 inches long. What's so amazing about this is the fact that both Hayden and Abby had been relatively small babies...with him being 30 weeks we were thinking we'd be good if he reached 3 pounds. So, we were THRILLED with 4 pounds 3 ounces. I don't remember much about the delivery itself--I was pretty out of it. But I do remember the doctors saying he was trying to cry and then I heard just a little squawk...and then again--these tiny little squawks just a couple of times...and we knew he was fighting.

Tyler was put on ventilator which lasted for only about 24 hours--he is now receiving oxygen thru a nasal cannula at only 25% support which is wonderful. He has increased his feedings from 3 ml up to 7 ml as of this afternoon. He did test a little high for bilirubin so he'll be going under the lights to take care of the slight jaundice. The biggest thing we're working on right now is taking out his umbilical line and putting in a pic line. The doctors hope that once we get the pic line in and it's stable we'll be able to hold him for a short period of time. I cannot tell you how badly I want to pick him up. It's so difficult to watch him cry and not be able to do much to soothe him.

We have been told that NICU babies are very likely to endure setbacks, so I'm trying to prepare myself that things may not continue to go as easy as they've been. But for now, we are just so thankful for how well he is doing. We don't doubt for a minute that it's the grace of God that has brought him this far...and we are so so so so (let me add one more sooooo) thankful for all the prayers that have been said for our little guy.

This whole pregnancy has been a reminder that with God all things are possible...the fact that we got pregnant in the first place, the chances were less than 1%...the fact that the pregnancy remained viable after hemorrhaging in the beginning...the fact that my water broke at 25 weeks and we went 5 1/2 weeks before going into labor...the fact that our 30 weeker was born at 4 pounds...I mean seriously, this whole pregnancy has been a statement that it doesn't matter what the "odds" are--when God has a plan for something He just makes it happen.

The other thing that it has reminded me of is that God can use all situations if we allow it. I've seen Him at work while we've been in the hospital and not just with all He has done for Tyler, but through people I have come in contact with--friendships I've made with people that work in the hospital--and also other patients that have circumstances much like what we've gone thru--that God can actually use our story with Tyler to be an encouragement to others. It's been a reminder to look outside of ourselves to see the big picture and not miss an opportunity to be apart of what God is doing. My prayer is that I keep my eyes open to why we went thru this and what God wants to do with it.

28 WEEKS!!!!

I look at the title to this post and I can't believe it...we've made it to 28 weeks. I have been in the hospital for 3 weeks.

For the last 3 weeks, James' Mom has been with us. She has helped James out tremendously--cooking, cleaning, getting the kids ready, etc. She's just jumped in and done it all...but she's also helped me out--we've laughed over stories (like when she "helped" me breath while in labor with Hayden) she taught me how to crochet so I won't drain our bank account on jewelry supplies. She has helped keep me entertained while the kids have been at school. Joni is getting on a plane in about 3 hours and going home and I will admit I'm sad (most people won't say that about their mother-in-laws but I have the best MIL out there). She has been wonderful and has sacrificed a lot to come out here to help us, but it's time (we keep joking that I will probably go into labor tonight since she's now gone) :) -- I hope not. There are things she has to get done back at home and I think we've gotten ourselves organized to our new "norm" for the time being.

With that said, life is about to get a little bit more hectic for James. This is the hardest part of being on bed rest for me....I'm not good at releasing control (you didn't know that about me did you??) Really I just don't like the thought of James having to carry the burden of being single parent. Without having family nearby it makes it a bit more difficult...but we are blessed with friends that have stepped in and filled the gap. I am so thankful for the meals that have been brought...having the grass mowed...taking the kids so that we can have some time for just us (even if it's in a hospital). We don't take it for granted...not for a minute.

So, where are we at with Tyler? We don't know. Most pprom (preterm premature rupture of membranes) patients deliver within the first week to two weeks if they don't go into labor within 48 hours after rupture. We're at 3 weeks.
We will go until one of 4 things happen: #1 I go into labor #2 I get an infection #3 Tyler shows distress (which hasn't occurred and isn't really a concern at this point) #4 I hit the 34 week mark...then they will induce or perform c-section. Currently, sweet little Tyler is sitting breech...and he's not listening to his mama about turning back into position. We have another ultrasound tomorrow and I will resort to bribing if I have to. :) If we're looking at odds...(which we don't put much stock in 'ODDS') but the likelihood says an infection will set it and will either cause labor to start or the doctors will start labor. But who knows what will happen?? I may be one of the few that go 9 weeks on bed rest and deliver at 34 weeks.

Have I mentioned I'm a planner? Yeah, I know...I am...even with all this I'm still trying to figure it out how it's going to work...how the plan is going to come together. I haven't gotten very far. It's not all my fault really--I mean I'm sitting in a bed looking at the ceiling so what else do I have to do but to try to figure it out?? Yes, I'm well aware at this point that whatever I do "figure out" will change, but it's worth a shot.

We are so happy to have made it to 28 weeks...at times I think we're out of the woods, but I know that we still have quite a road ahead of us. I guess when you're in the midst of it you can be a little naive to everything else...I'm thinking that's God's protection for my sanity. Above everything else we know God is in control of this...we know that this pregnancy was not a mistake, it wasn't even a surprise to Him although it was to us. We know that all that we've went thru during the first part of the pregnancy He kept Tyler safe...and now here we are--and we're facing this different hurdle but we know it's all in His hands. I'm not saying that its a guarantee everything will turn out like we want it to....but I am saying it will turn out exactly as He has planned. Don't get me wrong--it scares me to think of things not turning out like we want it to--I actually can't really dwell on that possibility at this point, but no matter what it doesn't change who we believe God to be.

Hayden and Abby are doing pretty good. I'm trying to spend time with each of them by themselves. We usually watch a movie (it's the only time Abby is quiet) :) I think they are starting to miss me though...which secretly I am a little bit glad for...yes, I know that's selfish. :)
I have said this over and over...but I am so glad they are older and can be a bit independent, my heart goes out to Moms on bed rest with small children at home.

Okay, I think that about covers it...see if I'd blog more often I wouldn't have to write a novel for each post.