The new Jackson 5!

Well...if you haven't already figured it out...we've been given an initial match to adopt a precious little girl from South Korea. She is 18 months old and her given name is Ye-ram Go. Abby picked out the name Olivia and I love it...such a sweet sounding name, don't you think?...but we also wanted to give a part of her given name in her name, but Abby and I share the middle name Lynn and she felt like her sister should share our middle name too...so we've come up with Olivia Lynn-ye Jackson.

Its so ironic how we are experiencing a lot of the fears we had when we got pregnant with Hayden...first, OH MY GOSH we're having a baby!! What are we going to do?? Are we ready for this...that pure panic...and then we were brought to our knees by the fact that we may not ever get to hold him...or that he may have special needs we couldn't comprehend and could we care for him? Now...here we are almost 9 years later feeling a lot of those same feelings...OH MY GOSH we're adopting!! Can we do this?? And then the possibility that she may have needs ranging from a minor learning delay to a severe mental deficit...can we adequately care for those needs...but in both situations we distinctly felt the peace that only comes from God telling us to trust Him. Not trust Him that it will all turn out like we want it to in our book--not a 'rose-colored' glass trust...but trust Him that He created this child in her mother's womb...and she is perfectly and wonderfully made--there was no mistake...Even when we don't understand--His plans far exceed ours...that the story is written and He is allowing us to be a part of it...

I won't lie and say we're not scared...the waves seem pretty big...but when our focus is where it is supposed to be the waves don't matter anymore and we can take that step out of the boat.

With all that said, we are excited...so excited....we're excited to see how God pulls this off. We're excited to bring Olivia home and for her to be our daughter...we're excited for Abby to be a big sister (and she's said she'd share her Bitty Baby with her) and for Hayden to look out for her as a big brother (he says he'll be nicer to her than he is to Abby because Abby bugs him). :)

Now we get to start the not so fun stuff...paperwork, homestudies, etc....usually you do this first but with our situation adopting a waiting child and the agency we are going thru the process has been flipped. As I said before this is an initial match, once we receive official approval from the country we will then be able to post pictures of this sweet little girl. There's still a long road ahead of us...okay not that long really, they are saying we could be bringing her home within the next 5-9 months--I was expecting 12-18. I keep repeating to myself--God has it all worked out-God has it all worked out-God has it all worked out...it's kind of like breathing into a brown paper bag for me.

We so appreciate your prayers over the next few months as things come together...from everything I've heard I know adoption is not an easy road--I'm under no illusions that ours will be different...and I'm sure there will be more times when we feel overwhelmed...but we wouldn't trade it for the world. We would also like to ask you to pray for Olivia...we realize for her the adjustment can be very difficult. Going from people and places she's known to a totally different place where people talk funny and look different. My heart breaks thinking about how scary that must be, even for a small child like this...so we're just asking that you start praying for her to feel loved and comforted by us. To pray for James and I, for wisdom, to help her transition into our family.

Thank you...thank you for being excited with us...for supporting us...for encouraging us when we wondered if we'd lost our minds...for not saying we'd lost our minds (even if you were thinking it)...for loving us...Thank you!